i may act like i’m sassy but if you’re mean to me there is a 900% chance i’ll cry
I’ve never broken a bone which just seems too suspicious to me I probably don’t have any bones
- period: WAKE UP ASSHOLE, YOU GOT CRAMPS.
- period: How bout an entire chocolate cake for breakfast?
- period: How's that back pain? Feeling better? Let's fix that.
- period: Corneas glance by a VS magazine on the table. Instantly horny.
- period: Find a cookie as big as a house and eat it.
- period: See a male specimen of any kind. Instantly horny.
- period: Where's your Tic Tac box filled with ibuprofen?
- period: Got things to do? Don't care. Sleep.
- period: See a female specimen of any kind. Instantly horny.
- period: For dinner you're eating an entire bag of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.
- period: Breeze blows by. Instantly horny.
- period: You didn't like those brand new underwear right?
- period: Yell at a puppy.
- period: Close eyes and wait for repeat tomorrow.
i hit my coworkers shoulder lightly and he was like “you’re going to make me cry like a girl” and i was like “what’s wrong with being a girl?” and he was quiet for a moment then he looked into the distance and whispered “the social standards they’re forced to live by”
Someone’s probably in love with you right now, even though you think you’re boring and stupid and smell bad most of the time, someone probably saw you last week and wiped their sweaty hands on the insides of their pockets and thought about your body under your clothing and about how you would look asleep in their bed
women are considered fragile but I’ve never seen anything as easily wounded as a man’s ego
Raise your hand if you’re straddling the line between crippling anxiety and not giving any fucks about anything
If you never used your period to get out of something you didn’t want to do, you’re lying.